UW Football, Seattle Seahawks - Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Biggest Winner
I’m going with a football theme here, and I have many candidates, most of them QBs. It seems pretty clear that through a couple of games in the college football season that the Heisman winner will be a guy who plays field general. Some names: (1) Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri. He’s put Missouri football on the map the last few years and has been playing exceptionally well. I read that he has more TDs, seven, than incompletions, six. Absurd; (2) Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma. Um, did you watch that game against UW? I know, I know, UW is abysmal, much more so than I had dreaded, but they still fielded a team that had the intention of stopping Oklahoma, albeit only theoretically. Bradford looked like he was playing Oklahoma’s flag football IM team. He is very accurate and has a great arm. He definitely will be invited to New York. (3) Mark Sanchez, QB, USC. I had no illusions that OSU would win this game at USC, but I didn’t think that they would get throttled as badly as they did. It’s weird reading all of those quotes from both sides of the ball for USC, essentially they said that they knew exactly what plays were coming on offense and defense and they had already prepared something that would work and each time, evidently, it did. Sanchez looks very much the part of a Heisman-winning QB.

All that being said about the young fellas in the college game, I’m going to give the biggest winner award to Aaron Rodgers, QB, Green Bay. I love that he’s winning. I care even a little bit about Green Bay and their history and all of that, I’m just happy for the dude who was getting treated like lint by Brett Favre. He’s playing great football and his team is winning. He has a huge game this week against Dallas which would also put him in contention for the award next week. Nice job, Aaron. Keep it up.

Biggest Loser
Oh, man. Where do I start? Sports in our neck of the woods are in terrible shape. I was so excited for the beginning of football season and now I wish it would just end. I mean, see the crap I wrote above, none of it has anything to do with what’s going on here (on a positive note, I mean). Despite what’s going on with the Seahawks, I’m pretty sure that the biggest loser is Tyrone Willingham. The guy has no chance to save his job, no one has faith in the guy anymore. Perhaps his team does, but they’re not really showing it on the field. Here’s the thing, I thought that UW would lose its first three games, then rally for wins against Stanford, UCLA, WSU, OSU, Arizona, Arizona State, and Cal. I can still see them beating Stanford and WSU for sure. Those two teams are not good. It’s very hard to figure out UCLA’s team. They beat a superior Tennessee team in LA, but get absolutely throttled by BYU in Utah. I still think that they might be able to pull that game out. So that’s three wins. I think that Arizona is the same type of team that UW is, so they should be able to at least go toe-to-toe with them physically, but I also worry that Tuitama will light them up like Burning Man (again). I do think that they can handle Oregon State but I think that they’ll probably lose to ASU (even though I think that they are not nearly as good as experts think—or thought—they are) and Cal will destroy them. So that leaves them with four wins and a solid eight losses and Ty gets ousted.

I have no idea who will replace him, it kind of sucks to be in this position again because they’ll just be set back that much farther. Whoever comes in is going to have to deal with the same issues as any new coach. He’s going to come in to a team that has been losing, and losing badly for a few years. One thing that the new coach will have is a great QB (unless he leaves after this year, which is what I’d be telling Locker to do if I was in his ear, get out NOW, get to the NFL and learn how to play QB, don’t get ruined by the “spread” offense. I’ll get to this later). The new coach would have to be brought in as soon as they make their decision to fire Ty, they need to have a guy in place so that recruiting does not suffer, so that they don’t lose any ground and end up having a class of like 12 guys or something. This new coach will have youngish players, but at least they won’t be completely new to the college game. Anyway, it’s a foregone conclusion that he’s going to be fired, and they probably should have just done it last year and hired Jim Mora. I don’t know if he’d be any good, but I do know that Ty had no chance this year, it was folly to think that he did –and I participated in the folly… 7-5… what the hell was I thinking?

Locker
Now, on to Locker… physically he has all of the tools that you want in a QB. He’s tall enough at 6’3. He’s certainly big enough to take hits at 220. He has a cannon for an arm. He clearly is “mobile” enough to do whatever needs to be done from a QB perspective—and that’s an understatement, obviously. What he lacks is: (1) accuracy; (2) patience, (3) experience in a complex offense. As I’ve described him, he’s Rex Grossman right now, with a more size and a lot more speed. Grossman, for all of his warts, has a huge arm. But Rex is stupid and Rex makes horrid decisions. That being said, I think Rex is the absolute floor for what Locker can be… so, he’s obviously an NFL caliber talent. As bad as Rex is, he can still play in the league. Also, I think that Locker is probably as good right now as Michael Vick was when he was at Virginia Tech. Virginia Tech did not ask him to do much in terms of understanding an offense and reading defenses and all of that. He just had a few throws he had to make a game and ran like hell for the rest of the game. He was so athletically superior to everyone on the field that he got away with it (and he had a good team around him). In the NFL, it’s not insane to say that he was the fastest guy on the field. Now, can’t the same be said for Locker? He’s crazy fast and when dudes have angles on him he can still run away from them. It just looks so strange because he’s so big. Anyway, I think that there are very strong Vick comparisons when it comes to Locker because of their physical talents and unsophisticated games. Of course, Vick is in prison, and Locker goes to church and stuff.

So, what’s Locker’s ceiling? I think he can be a little bit better Donovan McNabb. Both guys are big (McNabb is actually 6'2 240), both have speed (Locker is much faster though), both have good arms. McNabb is much more accurate than Locker is, but he’s also been in the league like 9 years. Anyway, since Locker is a redshirt sophomore, he should bolt to the NFL now. I guarantee you he’d be picked within the first three rounds. I think that he’s best suited to play in an offense that does not require crazy precision like what Seattle runs. I think that offense is a detriment at times because unless everything is perfect, the play is dead. I think that Locker would thrive in places like Pittsburgh, Carolina, Dallas, Jacksonville, Minnesota, NY Giants, New Orleans, San Diego, Denver, and Cleveland. Looking at the QB situations for the league, I think it would be very, very smart for him to come out now and get some training while not having to play right away. One of those teams would take him and turn him into a great NFL QB, I think. I really hope that he does it, even if I root for UW, I think that he’s wasting his time there. He already left $2M on the table by forsaking baseball, he should go get it back (and then some) now. UW is going nowhere, with or without him.

Seahawks
It’s pretty amazing what’s going on with these guys. I predicted an 11-5 finish for them. Laughable. They will be lucky to get within pissing distance of that record. I’m scared that they will finish with a dreaded 8-8 record reminiscent of the mid-late 90s. Of course, with all of their injuries, it’s kind of crazy to think that they’d be able to play better than .500, but their injuries have not occurred on defense, which is what was most disappointing the other day. Sigh.

National Champion
Before seeing any games I chose Oklahoma v. Georgia in the national title game. I haven’t seen Georgia play yet, so I’ll reserve judgment on them. I’ve seen Oklahoma play and they looked unbelievable, albeit against very, very, very subpar competition. And now I’ve seen USC play against a team that was supposed to be good in OSU. If I was picking today, I’d say USC plays Oklahoma in what would be a good game, I think. Missouri might have something to say about that though, as well as Georgia and possibly Florida. I don’t like any team from the Big 10 (11) making it to the big game, nor do I like anyone from the Big East or the ACC. Anyway, both USC and Oklahoma look damn near unbeatable and I’d give the edge to USC simply because they have a ridiculously tough defense a very talented offense.

Super Bowl Champion
I think I said that San Diego would play Dallas in the Super Bowl with San Diego winning it all… I don’t really like that pick anymore considering it’s highly possible that Denver may actually win the AFC West. I don’t know much about their team, but their D isn’t that tough. It’s pretty clear to me that their offense can get it done. I did not see the game the other night, but I do like Jay Cutler quite a bit. He seems to have the stones to be a great QB and certainly has the physical attributes of a star QB.

I still like my Dallas pick out of the NFC, but I think that Pittsburgh might be a team to reckon with in the AFC. Their D is really good and they have a great running game and evidently Roethlisberger is better than I give him credit for, even if he was atrocious in the Super Bowl against Seattle.

Favre, Reality TV, College Football Predictions - Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Biggest Winner
Josh Childress, G/F, Olympiakos Basketball Club, Greece. This happened a little bit ago, but I applaud young Mr. Childress for his elephant garlic sized balls. Atlanta tried to screw him by offering him way below what his market value is because he was a restricted free agent, so he moons them and jets to Greece to collect coin. Good for him. Plus, he has an out after each year of the deal so he can come back to the NBA whenever he wants. And if he doesn’t want to, he can continue to play ball in Greece and get puh-ade. I think his anti-xenophobia is wonderful and he’s a good ambassador for the U.S. when this country needs one. Josh, you’re a winner.

Biggest Loser
Steve Smith, WR, Carolina Panthers. I think this guy is one hell of a player. He seems to come up big in games and puts up huge numbers, even though he’s a short dude. But come on, man. You can’t punch a teammate in the face and break his nose. Especially not a starter and especially not on a sucker punch, which is how it sounds like it went down. That’s weak, man. You’re a loser, Steve.

Favre
Just a quick note here, who knows how this stupid thing plays out, but if the Packers really don’t want Favre to play for anyone else and Favre won’t retire, if I’m Mike McCarthy, the Packers’ coach, I think I have Favre peel off the red jersey in practice and announce to the team, “Guys, we’re going to go live today…”

Reality TV in the Not-Too-Distant Future
I’ve said this before, but I’ll reiterate it here, I do not like reality TV. I’ve only seen bits and pieces here and there, but what I have seen makes me want to leave the room right away, which is what ends up happening. I am very lucky to be married to a woman who shares my disdain for such programming. Now, I have watched those fix-up-your-house types of shows because I like house stuff and I have watched Cesar Milan’s “The Dog Whisperer” to see if I can get tips and stuff, but the other dreck (American Idol, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Real World, etc. I simply cannot deal with). I bear no ill will toward folks that do like those shows, as I’m sure they don’t share my love for watching football. Anyway, if I don’t like it, I don’t like it, that doesn’t mean that I’m hatin’.

The point of this preamble is that I do think that in 5 years we will have a reality TV show where people actually die, like in “Running Man” (which is such an awesome movie by the way). I think that they will begin with prisoners and then move on from there. Running parallel to that I think we’re going to have a reality porn type of show that will be mainstream as well. Our society is in great hands.

What I’ll Be Watching At the Olympics
As stated, I love the Olympics and am very excited about watching swimming, track & field, and hoops. Actually, I’m not “excited” to watch hoops, but I am interested. I simply love watching swimming and track & field though, the amount of freakin’ time and effort that goes in to preparing for such short bursts of energy is crazy. Plus there are so many events that will be decided by hundredths of seconds… it’s insane. These people have titanium nerves and crazy desire. I applaud them. There is a chance that I’ll tear up, too (like when Gene Hackman says, “I love you guys… TEAM!”). Which is a bonus.

As an aside, here are scenes in movies that have made me cry that I can remember off of the top of my head:

• The scene I mentioned above in Hoosiers
• The Green Mile: When Hanks’s character asks John Coffe if he wants him to set him free because he’s not meant to be killed.
• Field of Dreams: when Costner’s character asks his dad if he “want[s] to have a catch?.”
• Hoop Dreams: When Arthur and William go away to college and are hugging their moms.
• Top Gun: When Goose died (hey, I was 12.)
• Return of the Jedi: When Yoda died
• Million Dollar Baby: when he tells her what her name means.

There are many, many, many others, but that’s all I could come up with right now. Am I a sap? Without question.

College Football Predictions

Top Heisman Candidates

1. Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahoma: He’s my pick to win it (which does NOT bode well for UW, but hey, there is no way they’re winning that game, right?), especially since Tebow won it as a sophomore last year and Bradford is a sophomore this year. Also, he put up silly numbers last year and hasn’t gotten enough pub. He will this year because they’ve got a good team that is going to run the table (until the championship game).
2. Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State: I think he’ll be the runner up this year if he stays healthy. You know he’ll get plenty of media coverage and you also know that OSU is going to run away with the Big 10 title this year. However, I don’t think that they’ll make it to the title game because even if they go undefeated, I think Georgia and Oklahoma will also and OSU will be left in the cold because of the championship games that the SEC and Big 12 have. I know it’s a bold prediction that Georgia will finish undefeated, but I do like their team and while they are playing ASU in Tempe, I think they are going to demolish them.
3. Tim Tebow, QB, Florida: Great player, but he won’t come near the numbers that he put up last year because of the concerted effort to have him run less. Also, he won’t be called on to run as much because they’ve got some RBs waiting to take the ball. That and he won last year and you know that they won’t give it to him this year out of spite… well, that and others will have better years. I think he’ll finish 3rd.
4. Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia: He’s a talented dude who has a ridiculously good team that he’ll lead to the national title. He’s going to have good stats and won’t throw many picks or take many sacks because he’s going to have a great running game. Plus they have an awesome defense that is going to put him on the field a lot. He finishes 4th.
5. Jeremy Maclin, WR/Returner (sometimes RB), Missouri: this guy is remarkable and will be an awesome NFL player. WRs never win this thing, and the only chance he has is to get the ball a ton. He’s got to have several (3) returns for TDs and maybe gets some carries in the backfield for TDs and his team has to do very well; I still don’t see him getting the ball enough. When I watched the Kansas v. Missouri game last year I was floored by this guy’s talent. He really stands out. I predict that he’ll be a top 10 pick in the draft whenever he decides to come out.
6. Chase Daniel, QB, Missouri: perfect QB for the system that they run, but losing to Oklahoma will hurt him as will playing on the same team as a fellow contender will hurt him.
7. Joe McKnight, RB, USC: Foolishly good player who won’t get enough carries to get the job done, but he’ll be mentioned a lot.
8. Mark Sanchez, QB, USC: I have no idea what kind of skills he’s got, but he’s playing for a good team, but he’s got inexperienced WRs (and an enigma in Patrick Turner) that won’t allow him to shine, plus he’s a 1st year starter… could be trouble, but he’ll be mentioned.
9. Juice Williams, QB, Illinois: He’s going to miss Rashad Mendenhall, but I think he’s going to put up decent numbers on a good team.
10. Rudy Carpenter, QB, ASU: He’ll probably throw for a ton of yards, but ASU gets no respect and the loss to Georgia will hurt him early (and I think he gets the piss knocked out of him in that game).
11. Percy Harvin, WR/RB, Florida: Crazy talented dude who won’t get enough touches to warrant the award, but he’ll be fun to watch. He’s insect quick.
12. Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia: He may move up quite a bit depending on how many carries he gets, but I think Georgia is going to beat the hell out of people this year so his numbers may reflect that. Plus I think his QB will take all the pub.

National Champion

• Georgia over Oklahoma

Other BCS Teams

• Florida (SEC)
• USC (Pac 10)
• Ohio St. (Big 10)
• Clemson (ACC)
• Rutgers (Big East)
• Missouri (Big 12)

No “BCS Buster” this year despite the fawning over Fresno St. and BYU, especially after what happened to a weak sister Hawaii team last year, and despite what Boise State did two years ago.

Favre, Lopez, Point Guards - Monday, July 28, 2008

Biggest Winner
Brett Favre. It has to be quite an ego boost to have the entire sports world give you a collective hand job for weeks and weeks on end. I bet he’s getting raw by now. Seriously though, he retired. He had a press conference and everything. Tears were shed. Tributes were made. His place in history debated, ceaselessly. It is discovered that about a week after his announcement that he hasn’t filed his retirement papers, he dismisses this with a wave of his hand, which upon closer inspection, he was waving the press toward him not away from him, as in “Hey, come here, I’m not done yet and you know it.” Time goes by, and then leaks of him thinking about coming out of retirement start appearing as “news” stories. All of the sudden, here we are. The adulation is considerable. Several football types are saying that he’s a top 5 QB in the league right now, making him better than around 85% of QBs, and certainly better than his backup the last three years, poor Aaron Rogers. Anyway, Favre has been treated to a nearly unending news cycle adoring him and telling him how awesome he is and how competitive he is and that he just loves to play… all this praise has got to warrant a Biggest Winner nomination from my camp.

Biggest Loser
Brett Favre. So, he’s also the biggest loser for being such a spoiled, attention-starved, pathetic, lying, desperate dude. This whole situation is weird because he’s clearly the most beloved guy in the history of Wisconsin and quite possibly the most beloved guy in the history if the NFL. But the way he’s behaving is so bizarre. Here’s what it seems like to me: (1) he wants Green Bay to beg him to come back and lead their team because he’s so great; (2) failing that, he wants to play for some other team that has a chance to be successful so that he looks awesome and Green Bay looks like fools for letting him go; and (3) he just wants attention. I guess this should not be surprising, I mean he’s a professional athlete who has been fawned over for years, he doesn’t know any other way. I’m sure he thinks, “I don’t understand why they won’t do what I want.”

Perhaps he was telling the truth that he was “pressured” into making his decision to retire as early as he did. Perhaps. But I really, really, really doubt it. He has gotten away with so much in Green Bay that I’d be amazed if anyone there could tell him to do anything. I was listening to the radio several months ago when Matt Hasselbeck was giving an interview telling a Brett Favre story. I’m not sure if you heard it, but I’ll paraphrase it anyway. One day during practice either the special teams or the defense was on the field and the offense was either on an extended break or Favre wasn’t taking reps—whatever the reason, he was on the sideline. As practice was underway, Favre was hitting golf balls over the practice field with a pitching wedge. Mike Sherman, the coach at the time, walked down to Favre and Hasselbeck thought that Favre was going to get it, but instead Sherman asked him about the game plan or something… that’s brutal, dude. And completely disrespectful to your teammates who are working while you’re F’ing around. Obviously things were a little different for No. 4 around the complex.

Anyway, I liked Favre as a player and he seemed like a legit person, but this whole song and dance thing that he’s got going on right now reeks of selfishness and he simply doesn’t care. He loves to be loved and can’t understand why he simply can’t do what he wants to do all of the time. I realize that it’s not that big of a deal and that in the end, I really couldn’t care less if he plays or not, and his “legacy” means nothing to me, but I do want him to go away.

Also Receiving Votes
Loser: Alex Rodriguez. This guy simply cannot get out of his own way. It’s so weird. He clearly wants to be loved, badly, and seemingly makes all of his decisions based on whether someone will like him for it or not, but he always, always, always seems to make a decision that pisses everyone off and he can’t understand why. He needs to incorporate the whole George Costanza do the opposite thing and he’d be better off. I mean, he sits out the HR Derby in Yankee Stadium (probably because he knew that Joe Hamilton would have dumped in his batting helmet and made him wear it); he leaves the All Star Game early(!) at his home stadium when everyone else stayed and genuinely cared about the outcome of a game that THEY PLAYED IN; he has frosted tips; he’s dating Madonna who is at least 15 years past her prime. Unbelievable. Oh, and he’s getting divorced, and I’m sure nothing ugly about his personal life will be disclosed through that proceeding.

An Aside
I had Robin Lopez as my biggest winner awhile back because the NBA Draft was dominating headlines a few weeks ago, but that’s done now, but I thought that I’d share my views on him anyway. Robin Lopez was considered by many to be a second round talent before, during, and even after the season. But yet here he is, getting picked number 15 overall and gets to play in Phoenix with Steve Nash and Shaq. Amazing. Everyone seemed to think that his twin, Brook, was the more talented player currently, and since they shared the womb together, Robin will eventually be as good as or better than Brook. The thing with Robin is that he’s a good defender, and that type of skill/drive is necessary for a dude like him that is not exactly athletic. But I hesitate to lavish any praise on either one of these two dudes because of their weirdness. They love Michael Jackson (still), are huge fans of Disneyland, and love Sex and the City. We're sure that they are guys, right?

Also, remember about a month ago I said that the Chicago Bulls were the biggest winner because it looked like Mike D’Antoni was going to be their coach? Well I got that wrong, but they do look like winners to me because they got the number one pick in the draft and went with Derrick Rose. That kid is a sick player. I think he’s going to be fantastic in the NBA. I’ve heard nitpickers say that he “can’t shoot” which is laughable, I think because it’s not as if he’s got some busted-looking shot, instead he’s got good form that will only get better. Plus, he’s 19. I’m pretty sure he’s going to get better. If the malady on a player is that he can’t shoot, but can do everything else, then I’ll take that. For instance, if you were thinking of perfect point guards, what are the criteria? I’d venture they’d have to be these, in varying degrees of importance, he would need the ability to:

1. make the right play, i.e. pass the ball to a guy who is in the best position to score… if you have a guy on the team who is a great shooter and he’s open in a spot where he likes the ball, the great point guard will get it to him NOW so that he can shoot and score, or if a guy is about to break open by cutting through the lane, the great point guard will get him the ball (see: Paul, Chris);
2. sense when a team is struggling offensively and to get them into something that works, (i.e. stop passing to dudes who are playing poorly, start driving the ball to the rim etc);
3. play good defense on the ball and fill the passing lanes;
4. dribble, very well;
5. communicate with teammates;
6. shoot when open or when the team needs him to shoot because the offense has stagnated AND because shooting well makes double teaming off the PG difficult if he’s a threat to score;
7. shoot well from the free throw line;
8. drive to the lane and score or pass to open dudes.

Derrick Rose can do every one of those things well (except make free throws at the end of the game… I can’t believe he missed at the end of the Kansas game. But CDR is to be blamed for that loss, not Rose.) Someone said that Rose is like Jason Kidd, and I’d agree, somewhat. He’s not the insane passer that Kidd is and he’s not quite as big either, although he’s close. But he is exponentially more explosive than Kidd ever was. He’s a D-Wade type of athlete. I also think that his jumper is on par with where Tony Parker is now. That used to be the thing that killed Parker; he simply could not shoot at all, now he knocks down midrange-to-deep shots with regularity. It’s made him a much better player (because he can always get to the rim) and I think that Rose has the capability to be a much better player than Parker. It’s funny how the press decides to harp on one thing and not let it go all the while forgetting that the kid is 19 and he’s probably going to be a hell of a lot better in like three years than he is right now, and by the way, right now, he’s awesome. Like I’ve said before, the press is very lazy and slips into one frame of mind without considering anything else. Like they are comparing him to Jay Williams now (the PG from Duke who was drafted by the Bulls and then got into a Bobby Hurley-like accident and ruined his career). Whatever. Just because he plays PG and plays for the Bulls does not make him the same type of player. Although, I will admit that Rose and Williams are similar athletically, Williams was much more of a shooter/scorer than Rose is. Sometimes I really hate sports for all of the stuff that goes into it. I’d much rather watch games than hear talking heads tell me this and that—ironically, that’s kind of what I’m doing right now except I have a readership of two, so that makes it different.

M’s
I can only go shallow-end-of-the-pool deep on baseball knowledge, but I agree with everything you said, Mowrer, about the M’s. They are a disgrace. Finally Richie Sexon has been exorcised. Who on that front office staff thinks that they have a good team put together from the aspect of pure baseball ability and relationship to the fans or whatever? They cling to guys like Willie Bloomquist who absolutely sucks but stays on the team because he’s from South Kitsap. I don’t get it. Are the Ms’s just a huge company that does stupid stuff that they think is going to work? I have a story that may or may not be related. A buddy of mine worked in marketing at Nintendo for about nine years and just left to go work elsewhere. Anyway, they have an event every year that is like a trade show where the gaming industry gets together and announces products etc. They have a party associated with this event and typically they have a live band play at the party. One year, my buddy was sort of in charge of getting the event together and met with the senior executives to get sign off on stuff. One VP was adamant that they get a big name to play at the party and my buddy agreed, obviously. That “big name” the VP wanted? Kenny “Highway to the Dangerzone” Loggins. This event took place in like 2004. Kenny Loggins was big—and it’s debatable if he was ever “big” I think he may have always been sort of a joke—in the early to mid 80s. We’re talking two decades ago. “Highway to the Dangerzone” was in “Top Gun” and that movie came out in 1986. My buddy could do nothing to derail this idea. The VP was dead set on having Loggins at the event. Embarrassing. Meanwhile Sony had like Blink 182 and OutKast perform at their party. My point in telling this story is that sometimes people who make decisions really shouldn’t be making decisions.

The Olympics
I am a sucker for nationalistic pride events. I would never deign to watch swimming, gymnastics, beach volleyball, volleyball generally, a triathlon, or any random track and field event at any time of the year. But a massive exception is made very four years when The Games are on the tube. I love track and field, but it’s never on TV, and when it is, it’s difficult to understand exactly what’s going on in terms of “Where does this fit in the overall scheme of the sport?” It’s not like other sports that I follow that have a definite season and leagues and stuff. So it’s hard to appreciate on any level except for what is going on directly in front of you. Even the world championships don’t seem to matter at all, but The Games changes all that.

I feel the same way about the World Cup and to a certain degree, the Euro Cup. It’s amazing to me how awesome those crowds are for the games, it must be unbelievably cool to be “on the pitch” when you’re in front of a World Cup crowd. It probably feels the same for football players at SEC games (except Vandy).

Broadcasting, Only Child, NBA Playoffs - Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Athletes That Could Make a Successful Leap into Broadcasting

• Chris Webber: Simmons also wrote about Webber’s appearances on TNT and he was raving about his abilities. I have to agree with him. He is smooth, intelligent, and has a good delivery. Random note, but when he was teamed with Juwan Howard on the Bullets he and Juwan did some one-off show about hip hop and showed videos (must have been on MTV or something) and I remember thinking: 1) Chris Webber is cool, 2) Chris Webber has great, great, great hip hop taste, 3) Chris Webber is very smooth in front of the camera with an easy smile and easy-going manner. I would love for him to feature prominently in this arena soon.
• Kevin Garnett: Do you remember the Nike “Fun Police” commercials? KG was the lead dog for most of those and he had such a presence. He was funny (yes, the lines were written, but he pulled it off, easily) and seemed to really have a way about him. I also saw him on a former ESPN show called “The Life.” As much as he makes things look difficult on the court (because of his effort and intensity) he is completely at ease in front of the camera. I love the dude. As long as someone just lets him be him on camera, he’d be excellent.
• Side note: If you’ve never seen “The Life” I feel sorry for you. The Ray Lewis episode in particular was unbelievably funny. One of the scenes is Ray back at home (in Florida somewhere) and his mom is throwing a BBQ. One of Ray’s friends at the BBQ is named “Kirby” and he’s the originator of the dance that Ray Lewis does (or did, not sure if he does it anymore). Kirby comes out wearing Ray’s Ravens jersey tucked into white jeans and Ray is begging him to do this dance and Kirby is laughing (giggling, really) saying, “don’t make me, Ray … don’t make me hurt ‘em…” and then all of the sudden he busts it out – spins around, hands in the air like a cat or something –and it’s awesome. Ray is dying laughing (because it’s hilarious) … anyway, they skip to another scene and Ray is asking Kirby to sing for him. Kirby starts his verse and it goes like this: “Take me to the motel, buck naked, take off yer draws take off yer draws, show me what choo wreck it with!” then he does the dance again and it’s over. Those two scenes with Kirby are the best of what TV has to offer.
• Matt Hasselbeck: He’s perfect because he’s been very successful, but had to fight for what he’s got. He has a fantastic sense of humor, he’s sarcastic, he makes fun of people, he’s self deprecating, and he’s smart, he knows the game, and he’s very at ease in front of the camera— although I don’t think they’ll let him wear a hat when he’s in the booth. Once he’s done with the sport there is no doubt in my mind that he’ll be a national color guy for some network (if that’s what he wants). He’s too good not to.

Being an Only Child
I have a friend who is a twin and I'm infinitely jealous of him because he had playmate of the same age, same sex, same ability level, and who had similar sport interests. Growing up solo is extremely boring, but luckily I always had friends to mess around with, but there were always those summer days when no one was around and I was left to figure out something to do. On those days I’d probably ride my skateboard all over (when I lived in Okinawa) dunked on my neighbor’s hoop in the cul-de-sac (the hoop did not extend to 10 feet, so it was completely worthless after about 5 minutes) threw the football to imaginary people in the yard/punted the ball in the air and caught it (pathetic), played homerun derby by tossing a whiffle ball into the air and trying to punch it over the fence (unbelievably pathetic), did a lot of pushups and situps, drug the TV to the sliding glass door to watch games while still being outside. Anyway, I am really jealous my friend's twin-enhanced sporting childhood.

NBA Playoffs
I know that neither one of you care much for the NBA, at least I don’t think that you do. I generally don’t care at all until it gets to this point in the season. Well, that’s not entirely true, I used to care about the regular season when the Sonics were relevant (i.e. staying in Seattle or trying to win). But I always tune in for some games during the playoffs because it really is its own season (from the style of play to the actual length). Anyway, a few thoughts on what I’ve seen thus far:

1. Chris Paul is unbelievable. He is such a talented player all the way around. Watching him control his team and the effect he has on the game, on both sides of the floor is very impressive. It’s almost like he does nothing wrong at all during the course of the game. He has a very good jumper, but rarely does he have to use it. He passes ridiculously well. I get the sense that he, like Tony Parker, can get to the rim any time he chooses. He plays fantastic defense. His lob passes are on the money all of the time. He rides dudes for doing stupid stuff. I love his game. He is the perfect point guard.
2. Kobe Bryant is out MJing MJ. He is an incredibly dominant force on his team and make huge shot after huge shot, night-in, night-out. The guy is a complete dick, but he’s such a talented player that it’s hard not to be impressed with him. He’s as athletically gifted as anyone that’s ever played and he has huge stones. Hell of a player.
3. LeBron James is a beast and is a big man for not just beating the life out of Brendan Hayward and DeShawn Stevenson. He could easily kill both of them with his bare hands for their cheapshots during their series, but instead he simply dominated their teams. He, right along with Kobe, is as athletically gifted as anyone that’s ever played because he’s 6’8 or 6’9 and weighs 260 and runs and jumps like he’s a world-class long jumper. I bet he could toss the discuss 300 feet if he dedicated his life to it.

Sporting Mecca - Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Sporting Mecca
If I won KJRAM's the Bigger Dance, I'd probably go somewhere far away because we’d want to take advantage of the “anywhere in the world thing” which is not original, I know, but that’s what we’d do. I suppose we’d go to Australia or maybe to South Africa for the World Cup, but that’s not this year. Whatever.

If we’re talking about a true sporting event that I’ve always want to go to, it would have to be domestic and it would have to be college football because it’s the one sport that I love above all others. Some friends and I have been talking about going to an SEC game for years now, and whenever I have enough money and time to do it, we’re going. Of course, that’s never going to happen because I’m never going to have enough time or money, so it’ll probably remain a dream.

I’d absolutely love to go to the following games and all of the accompanying tailgating:

• Florida at Tennessee
• Auburn at LSU (at night)
• Florida vs. Georgia in Jacksonville

I have an irrational love for SEC football even though I have no roots in the South (although I did live in Montgomery, Alabama from age 6 months-2 years, and I do love southern cooking). Anyway, I lived in Okinawa (my dad was in the Air Force) during some formative years – 5th grade through 8th grade and I played football over there. I don’t know how much exposure you guys have had with the military but an overwhelming number of servicemen, especially in the unlisted ranks (e.g. not officers) are from the South. Anyway the coaches that I had for the years that I was there were from Florida and Georgia respectively. So, the teams I played on were “The Gators” and “The Bulldogs.” I had no idea why those names were chosen at the time, but I came to find out later. It could be that my love for SEC football stems from my association with those teams when I was playing ball for the first time. Who knows? When I came back to the states I was a freshman and I was watching a game on TV. It was Tennessee vs. someone and all I remember was Carl Pickens killing people on punt returns and catching passes. He was also cocky as hell and looked cool doing it. They were playing at home and on that checkboard endzone and I was hooked. I’d never seen them play and didn’t get too much exposure to college football overseas so this was all new to me. From that day forward, I’ve always followed Tennessee football even though I’ve never been there and have zero ties. I would love to visit that stadium and see a game. I bet it would be quite an atmosphere. However, there is a big downer to my irrational love for SEC football generally and Tennessee football specifically… aside from the overt racism, I don’t think I could deal with the Bible Belt stuff. A friend of a friend works in Knoxville and said that he went over to someone’s house to watch a Vols game. He brought over some beers, but they weren’t drinking (um, what?!). At halftime, the host muted the TV and passed, wait for it, bibles around to everyone. My friend thought he was going to watch a football game and a pickup Bible Study broke out. Unbelievable. I would have been so uncomfortable. I just hope that if I ever do make it to a game that we don’t have a sermon break out in the middle of it.

Memorable Sporting Achievements, Sonics, Clownin' - Friday, March 28, 2008

Memorable Sporting Achievements
Sadly, none of my mediocre sporting achievements occurred during real, organized sports. I had good games here and there, but nothing that I would consider fantastic.

Here are a few of them, both good and bad. The bad far outweighs the good so I’ll only use what I think are excellent bad ones.

Raining
After college, I lived in an apartment in Bellevue with some friends from school. One of them had a buddy who had access to a gym and we went to play hoops there one night. There were six of us so we split up into threes. I was guarding my roommate. He’s 6’4 and athletic, but can’t really shoot all that well, but can dunk like a donut. He also has really long arms so it’s hard to get a shot off on him. I’m giving you this preamble because I had the best shooting performances of all time against him.

Since we were playing 3:3, I definitely had more legs than I normally would because I wasn’t running up and down the court. Anyway, we played 5 or 6 games and we played to 11 each game (shots counted as 1s and 2s). I probably hit 25 threes on him and missed maybe 5 times. It was ridiculous. I’ve never been dialed in like that before. The best thing was, I had never met his friends before (these guys went to high school with him) so they had never seen me play—they left the gym thinking I was much, much, much better than I actually am. Pretty funny.

Kissing the Hand
Back in college, a buddy of mine and I were always jawing back and forth about who was the better athlete. We normally did this when we were watching games and drinking, so the hyperbole was amped up quite a bit. Anyway, I decided that we should settle it with an “All Sports Challenge.” I came up with a list of 10 events that I think equally addressed our strengths. From memory, here are the events:

1. Baseball bat toss
2. Over the head toss of a shot put
3. Baseball toss
4. 40 yard dash
5. Three point shooting
6. Free throw shooting
7. Bench press adjusted for weight (he was lighter than me by about 10-15 pounds)
8. Arm Wrestling
9. Broad jump
10. Bicycle obstacle course

Looking back, those are some really stupid events. Also, as I recall, we didn’t finish all of them (big surprise). Again, from memory, I think we didn’t do the bicycle obstacle course, the 40, or the bench press. He won the baseball bat toss, baseball toss, and free throw. I won the three point, over the head toss, and broad jump. So one night, we decided to do the arm wrestling portion and that ended the whole thing. My friend was very, very cocky. Since we were tied he was jawing at me. One thing I should mention here is that I completely screwed up by essentially conceding two events. He was a starting second baseman on the baseball team and was actually very good. So the baseball toss and the bat toss were complete giveaways. I thought I’d be able to make up for it because he only played infield and didn’t have to throw that far. That was dumb. He crushed me in those events by 20 yards-a-piece I think. So we’re at his house with a bunch of people around and we sit down at the table and do the whole Sly Stallone “Over the Top” stuff. As soon as we lock hands and one of my buddies said, “go” I knew that I had him. I knew that his hands were strong from batting and all of that, but he simply wasn’t that strong. He was pushing against my hand and talking. I looked at him, leaned forward, kissed his hand, and slammed it down on the table as hard as I could. I think I hurt his wrist and that was that. I would love to go back and try those events again; I think it would be fun.

Long Ball
In ’99 I was on a softball team with a couple of guys from work. We got pulled onto a team comprised of guys that used to work together that none of us knew. I was not good at softball and hadn’t played in years, but these guys were terrible, but they thought that they were good. I don’t know which level of league that we were in, but it was clear that we should have been in the rung below. Our shortstop was a guy that I worked with (the connection to the team) and he is a textbook short man’s disease guy. Not all short dudes have this problem, but when a dude has it, it’s evident. This guy had it. He insisted on playing shortstop even though he booted nearly every ball that came his way. He was also a slap hitter, except he batted from the right side, which means he’d slap the ball to second or first and then get thrown out. That’s not the story though. As stated, I’m not a very good baseball/softball player. I can play the outfield a little but I think it’s more by default than anything because I really can’t really play infield. But I can hit a little. So during one game, I stepped up to the plate, the ball came in and I turned on it and sent it 20 feet over the wall in left field. I was shocked. The fence was 300 ft and I crushed it. I’ve never hit a home run in my life, on any level (except for home run derby and wiffle ball). I have to say that was a pretty cool moment.

The Redirection
During my sophomore year in college I had one of the best golf shots of my life and it happened because I’m such a bad golfer. We had a 9-hole golf course on campus that cost $2 at the time. It was a fantastic deal. The course was pretty basic, but it wasn’t terrible. However, I was terrible. Actually, I still am terrible. My game has not really progressed since I started, I guess that’s because I don’t play enough. Anyway, the 2nd hole on the course boarders a street to the left. The tee box is set up high and the green is sort of down in a valley. I had a horrible slice back in the day, I’ve sort of gotten away from that now, but it was really pronounced then. To compensate, I used to exaggerate my stance to the left to account for it. Most of the time, I would swing and the ball would slice back over onto the green. Not this time. I hit the ball and it sailed straight as an arrow. As my friends were laughing and pointing at me we heard a KNOCK and then saw the ball float safely onto the green. As we walked down, baffled, we saw that the ball ricocheted off of a fire hydrant. It’s embarrassing to include this as an “achievement” but it was cool.

Sonics
I am a Sonics fan and have been for a very long time because of Kemp and Payton. I was in high school and college during their rise and I loved the way that they played and how successful they were. I was a freshman in college when they lost to Denver in the opening round and I wanted to kill the guy from Colorado who was running up and down the hallways in the dorm. The Sonics were supposed to win the whole damn thing that year and stupid Robert Pack went crazy and Kemp missed those free throws… sigh. It give me gas just thinking about it.

Anyway, I’m truly annoyed at the whole thing and how it’s going down. The state legislature is packed full of pansies and I hate the Seattle government. I love how they are acting like they aren’t to blame at all in this. I don’t care at all of the actual team that’s on the floor because they are pathetic and are clearly meant to be. They are jockeying for the future and I can appreciate that. Nothing is worse than being middle of the pack in the NBA because there is no hope for the future. I’d rather the team be young and terrible than old and mediocre. It would be fun to pull for the Blazers team because they are very, very young and poised to blow up. They are going to have another lottery pick this year to add to their already talented, young team. It would be great if we could snag that franchise, but it’s not going to happen. New Orleans would be great to have here as well, but that also isn’t going to happen. I don’t want Memphis’s team and I don’t want Charlotte’s team. I’d like the current team to stay because of the flexibility that they have. Now, all that being said, I have not watched one NBA game this year from start to finish and probably only tuned in to 10-15 total for any stretch of time. The NBA regular season is a lot more fun to follow in print than it is to actually watch all of the games. The season is just way too long and the games don’t seem to mean that much except for playoff positioning. But as much as I dislike the regular season, the playoffs are a different story, I’d rather they cut the games from best of 7 to best of 5, but again, that isn’t going to happen.

Anyway, I’ll be sad when the rug gets pulled out from under us because Seattle will have second-class status, and that blows.

Clownin’
A friend of mine from college went to med school in Chicago and during his time there, he and some of his buddies developed a shtick they called “Clownin’.” They would get dressed up in full clown suits, nose, big shoes, hair, makeup, the whole deal and hit the bars. As part of their routine they’d walk in to a bar and head to a table and just act pissed off and do shots. When someone asked them what was wrong, they’d say that they just came back from a stint at a children’s hospital and one of them was making balloon animals and it blew up in a kid’s face, so they were upset about it. The thing about it was, they would always hook up with women this way. I don’t know what kind of quality we’re talking about here, but I don’t think that was the point. They did this frequently, maybe once or twice a month for like four years. Pretty amazing.

Super Bowl 42, Movies - Monday, February 11, 2008

Super Bowl
I loved that game. Loved it. During the season, I was pulling for New England because of the whole perfect season etc. I thought that I would be pulling for them in the Super Bowl, but I simply couldn't do it. I cannot stand it when the media and announcers etc act as if it's a foregone conclusion that something is going to happen. There was so much chatter that NYG had a "chance" in the game, but that they would not win because of XYZ. I can see how you could have that opinion, afterall, New England was having a great season, but what do all of those wins that happened during the year really mean to the game that they were about to play? NYG was playing unbelievably good football over the past month. Their defense looked terrorizing and they were clearly on a roll. Those who were bashing Manning looked stupid for doing so because he was playing really well. Saying that he would "choke" under the pressure made no sense because, if anything, it has been made abundantly clear that his demeanor is the same regardless of the situation. So why would this game be any different? Anyway, I liked seeing Brady get crushed, I liked seeing Randy Moss do nothing, and I really liked seeing Belichick lose. That guy has to be a first ballot hall of famer for the most hated dudes in sports. Seriously, what's his problem? To be fair, I really don't like Tom Coughlin at all either, he's not quite as bad as Belichick is. Personally, I'd like to see both of them kicked down a flight of stairs with their hands tied behind their back and their shoestrings tied together. Regardless of my feelings for either team, it really was a good game. It wasn't close because both teams were crappy and couldn't do anything, it was close because both teams were good and the team that played more relentless D won. I liked seeing that and I really liked the drama at the end with Manning escaping and Tyree making that ridiculous catch against his head. Unbelievable. Just a great game.

Movies
I'm very embarrassed to admit this, but I was sent to Hollywood Video the other day (our free movies stream courtesy of the Olympia library has dried up lately, so I've had to resort of actually paying cash money for movies; it's a shock to the system and I'm coping). That's not what I'm embarrassed about though. I was in a situation where I was supposed to pick up a movie that both of us would enjoy. I had seven flicks in my hand and the one I came home with was a bad choice. The movie was "Dreamgirls." I like Jamie Foxx and I love Eddie Murphy. Do you know what I don't love? Musicals. I love music, but I hate it when people sing their lines. I thought that the movie was going to be a movie about musicians. You know, like the Johnny Cash movie and "Ray." I did not think it was going to be "Chicago." (although I didn't mind "Chicago" probably because I knew what it was going in … that and Catherine Zeta Jones is hot, even though she kind of looked like a man in that movie). In fact, the movie didn't even start out as a musical. They sort of sucked you in to think that it was going to be what I thought it was going to be. Then, out of nowhere, some dude starts singing lines and the lighting changes and all of the sudden I'm in a musical. I was pissed. As Ms. Costanaza once said, "I was DUPED!" I don't think it was the musical aspect that pissed me off as much as how lame the music was. Yes, Ms. Hudson, you have pipes and it is impressive that you can scream that loudly and not have your voice crack, but I'm tired of you. If I had known it was a musical I would have never rented it, or at least I would have been prepared. The movie that came in second place that night? "The Bourne Ultimatum." I echo Kim's sentiments here, "You should have rented that one instead."

We saw two other movies in the past month, both courtesy of the library and both having to do with magic stuff: "The Illusionist" and "The Prestige." We also saw "Pan's Labyrinth" but I didn't think the flick was that good and I don't have too much to say about it.

If you haven't seen either "The Illusionist" or "The Prestige" I'd recommend both. I will say that "The Illusionist" in my opinion, is far superior for many reasons. I won't say anything else about it because I'll ruin it, but the movie was really good. I also think Ed Norton is incredible.

The Prestige is really good also, and I'm glad that Christian Bale is back in the fold again. He was awesome as the "American Psycho" dude and as Batman. But before those two movies he hadn't done anything. Kind of like Billy Crudup (the guitarist in "Almost Famous.") Anyway, my biggest takeaway for this movie was that I'm frankly getting tired of seeing Scarlett Johansson run around with clothes on, she needs to do something about that, quickly. Take a page out of the Kate Winslett handbook. She got nominated for an Oscar for doing so, so don't tell me it hurts your credibility.

One last thing on movies, we watched "Cool Hand Luke" last night (it was on AMC). I'd seen this movie years ago and I don't have much to say here except that Paul Newman's "Luke" character was indeed, very cool. The egg-eating thing was one of the most random things in mainstream movie history. The other thing that I have to say is that Paul Newman probably could have pulled the most wool in the history of wool if he wanted to; I'm not saying he didn't, I don't really know any of his exploits, but I think that Clooney and Pitt would be in trouble if Newman was 40-years old today.

Hawks in Lambeau - Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Hawks in Lambeau
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: the NFC is wide open. If New York was playing in Green Bay this weekend, I’d give them 50/50 odds to win. I think Seattle has the same chance. I guess Green Bay has a slight edge because they are playing at home, but I don’t see them as being any better than Seattle from a talent standpoint. Of course Favre is great and is having a great season, but we all know that he’s capable of having a crap-the-bed kind of day. He’s been known from time to time to throw some, shall we say “ill advised” passes. With the way the Seattle D is playing, I think that they can cause him to be a little sloppy. We’ll see. The key is the pass rush, if Kearney keeps playing like he’s avenging the death of his ancestors, then Seattle runs away with this game. I loved the pickup when it happened, but I had no idea that he would have this kind of crazy impact. He’s been amazingly good this year. Same goes for the defense generally. This is not the same team that lost to Chicago last year. Not by a long shot. What we really need is for Hasselbeck to play well. He was horrid for long stretches on Saturday. I’m one of the biggest Hasselbeck apologists out there, but he nearly cost them the game. He needs to hit receivers when they are open and not force things when they’re not. I also think that Weaver should figure into the gameplan a little more if for no other reason than it is cold and they may not be able to throw as much as they want to. Anyway, I’m really looking forward to the game; it should be a good one.

Red, White, and Blue, Athlete Transfer - Wednesday, January 02, 2008

The Whites

Here are my thoughts for an NBA team comprised only of US-born white players. I call it the All [Red,] White [, and Blue] Team:

PG: Kirk Hinrich, CHI
SG: Mike Miller, MEM
SF: Wally Szerbiack, SEA
PF: David Lee, NY;
C: Chris Kaman, LAC

Bench: Luke Walton, LAL; Jason Williams, MIA; Kyle Korver, UTAH; Jeff Foster, IND (I think); Nick Collison, SEA; Brad Miller, SAC; Jason Kappono, TOR

Guys who almost made the cut: Brian Cardinal, MEM; JJ Reddick, ORL; Adam Morrison, CHA; Brent Barry, SA; Dan Dickau, LAC; Scot Pollard, BOS; Luke Ridnour, SEA; Steve Blake, POR

I think that this team would get blasted off of the face of the earth. Maybe that’s being a bit harsh, but I do think that they’d probably be one of the worst teams in the NBA. I may be underselling them because they certainly would have a collective spirit because absolutely no one would take them seriously. They’d be fan favorites everywhere because the NBA crowds are predominantly white. They’d have something to prove every night. Anyway, this team should be based out of Kansas, Wyoming, or Utah.

As an offshoot of this topic, I’ve comprised at team that I’ll call the “All Nougat Team.” The term “nougat,” as is found in Snickers and Milky Way, was used by Jamie Foxx at the ESPYs a few years ago to describe Mike Bibby’s skin color. I think and I’ve always lumped those light-skinned dudes in a category I called “Arizona dudes” and Bibby was definitely that. U of A featured a lot of guys that fell into that category, such as Damon Stoudamire, Miles Simon, AJ Bramlett, Richard Jefferson (slightly), Bibby, Jason Gardner, and Marcus Williams. The name “Arizona dudes” really doesn’t hold water when you look at it over the long haul – clearly Gilbert Arenas and Michael Dickerson are not nougat dudes—but they had a good run for awhile there. Jaryd Bayless did his best to bring nougat back into prominence. Anyway, without pouring through the pictures of each guy on NBA.com, I’m going off of memory and my team is this:

PG: Jason Kidd, NJ
SG: Mike Bibby, SAC
SF: Brandon Roy, POR
PF: Carlos Boozer, UTAH
C: Tim Duncan, SA

Bench: Deron Williams, UTAH; Kenyon Martin, DEN; Tyson Chandler, NO, Drew Gooden, CLE; Joakim Noah, CHI; Delonte West, SEA; Richard Jefferson, NJ; Shane Battier, HOU.

I think that this team would do extremely well and would be a playoff if not championship contender even if there is no true shooter on the team. Bibby, Roy, and Williams have good range, but none of them are necessarily spot-up shooters, per se. That said, they would be beasts in the post and would be an extraordinarily unselfish team. The team is strongest at PG and PF/C. I think that Williams would make a strong push for Bibby’s spot in the starting rotation at the 2 spot, but both are 1s anyway. They’d both get a lot of playing time in my land of make-believe.

More Make-Believe
Awhile back, Bill Simmons wrote about soccer and said that Iverson would probably be the best soccer player the world has ever seen and that Shawn Marion would have been an all-world goal keeper. I don’t dispute these things, but I would like to extrapolate on that a little bit, sort of like that Nike commercial showing Vick playing hockey and Lance Armstrong boxing. I’ve thought about this in the past and there are certain athletes that I think would have been ridiculously good at other sports. Here is a sampling:

James White: Not sure if you know who he is, but he played hoops at Cincinnati (and Florida too, I think) and I never saw him play one minute of organized ball. But I did see him in the college dunk contest and I’ve never seen anyone jump quite like that before. I believe he signed with Indiana and maybe San Antonio, but he’s either in the D league or is on the roster but never plays. My point is I think he would hold the world record in the long jump if he spent one year training for it. I’m serious. I used to coach track and while I’m not expert on the matter, I have no doubt in my mind that I could take him to 29’4 ¼. No doubt. If you haven’t seen him, check him out on YouTube. He dunked from the free throw line, but he did so while putting the ball between his legs and he was legitimately behind the line. That’s absurd. He also dunked from the free throw line with two hands so easily it didn’t look real. The key to the long jump or guys with long jump potential is that they have to be able to jump off of one foot. A lot of guys can’t because they are two-footed jumpers and as such, they loose their speed in the process. It doesn’t matter on the basketball court because they don’t have to travel that far, but in the long jump, it becomes a hindrance. James White is a one-footed jumper and if he’d listen to me would also set the record in Beijing.

Karl Malone: He could have been the greatest NFL tight end of all time. He may be a bit tall for the position but he was huge, has great hands, and is phenomenally athletic. He would catch everything thrown to him in the red zone and as much as I hated him as a Sonic fan, it would have been cool seeing him play on Sundays. Instead, he became one of the best power forwards the game has ever seen. I guess that was a good choice, Karl.

Allen Iverson: I’d have liked to have seen him be Michael Vick before Michael Vick. I’ve seen highlights of him from his high school days playing QB. He was incredible. He was player of the year in Virginia in both football and basketball. That’s a surprise. I think he would have been a really good QB, but probably a better kick/punt returner/WR. Instead, he became one of the best small players in NBA history and made so much money that he left 60k laying around his house for former teammate Matt Geiger to discover.

Mike Tyson: NFL Middle Linebacker. We would have gotten to see a lot more of him and goodness knows he can hit. He would have been able to get away with attempted murder every Sunday because he would have knifed through people like he was trying to come out on the other side of them. He’s probably the perfect size at 5’11 and 220 or whatever he was when he was in his prime. He was very quick, ridiculously powerful, and had the meanest of mean streaks in him. I felt that he could have been a Hall of Fame type of player. I see him as kind of like Ray Lewis-type of linebacker even down to the red jump suit they both once wore.

So those are just a few that I’ve thought of. Evidently football is my favorite sport and I want everyone that has the natural ability to be good at football to play football, but I don’t get my way all of the time. Also, isn’t it funny how the guys that I mentioned after James White are actually superstars and James White is a nobody? I guess that’s why I’ve decided that James White should participate in a sport that no one cares about, or cares about just for a few minutes every four years.

Local Hoops, NFC West - Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Local Hoops

I went to see a couple Rainier Beach v. Seattle Prep games a few years ago when these guys were on the floor Martell Webster, Spencer Hawes, CJ Giles, Terrance Williams, and the Stewart Twins. Those guys were … um, those guys were good. When CJ Giles and the Stewart Twins were playing, Martell’s team was young, but you could definitely see the ability. Now I see Martell lighting things up in Portland, Louisville is always on TV so Terrance Williams is always getting airtime … it’s just weird. Oh, we went to a playoff game at Ingraham High School when Williams and Webster were seniors and Williams threw down on the most vicious, in-traffic dunks I’ve ever seen. It was seismic. I wonder if he’ll make it in the NBA. I have my doubts because he’s a terrible shooter, but he’s also a freakishly good athlete that stands out amongst other freakishly good athletes. He’s 6’7 and should be able to guard almost anyone from 1-4. We’ll see I guess. I’d say he’s a very Desmond Mason type of player, so he should make it.

As for Adam Morrison, he’s simply a terrible NBA player. He was a big time scorer in college and I thought he was a good player for that level, but I never thought that his game would transfer to the NBA because he is such a poor 3-pt shooter. I think he shot somewhere in the 30% range from the college stripe. That’s not good. His one great skill in college was scoring and scoring from 15 with jumpers, and that would be severely curtailed in the NBA because players are bigger and much more athletic that what he faced on a nightly basis. He can’t rebound, he has no ability to pass the ball (nor any desire to do so), and he is probably one of the worst defenders I’ve ever seen from an effort and ability standpoint. So his struggles at the NBA level are not a surprise. I can’t believe he went No. 3 overall. Yeah, he’s a much better player than Brandon Roy. Unless Morrison develops a dependable stroke from downtown he’ll never be anything more than a liability and he’ll be out of the league very soon.

NFC West

All year, members of the sports media have been bashing the relative weakness of the NFC West. This bashing has been warranted because the NFC West isn’t very good. But this is simply lazy journalism on their part, broadcast or print, and I’ll tell you why. If you just take a look at the divisional standings you’ll see what I mean. Here are the win totals for all of the teams in each division. In parenthesis I’ve put the win totals of all teams minus the division winner/leaders:

a. AFC East: 26 (11)
b. AFC South: 40 (27)
c. AFC North: 29 (19)
d. AFC West: 24 (14)
e. NFC East: 28 (15)
f. NFC South: 25 (16)
g. NFC North: 33 (21)
h. NFC West: 25 (15)

Look at those numbers. The toughest division is the AFC South. Indy, Jacksonville, Tennessee, and Houston are all decent to great teams. By far the weakest division is the AFC East; I mean it’s not even close. Outside of New England, the teams are terrible. Additionally, the NFC East and the AFC West are the same or worse than the NFC West. It’s unbelievable that the media would simply state, as if it were fact that the NFC West hands down the worst division in football when the numbers simply don’t back it up. It’s frustrating. Yes, San Francisco and St. Louis are terrible, no question, but so too are Miami, NY Jets, Denver, KC, and Oakland. This kind of stuff makes me want to drag my knuckles up and down MarbleCrete walls.